I live in a very breastfeeding friendly, nearly stringent, bubble. Having worked with La Leche League as a leader for the past five years, I have seen breastfeeding babies from ages newborn all the way to five years old. Nothing tickles me more (internally of course, because I am a lady!) than a first time pregnant mom who comes to a meeting and sees a gigantic toddler latched on and sprawled out on his mother’s lap. The fear in her eyes say, “That baby has TEETH, and a pretty hefty vocabulary!” In fact, because of this bubble of breastfeeding, I saw a toddler nurse FAR before I ever witnessed a newborn doing the same.
I’ve seen women hell bent on nursing through pregnancy, tandem nursing, and nursing until the baby self weans, as if each goal will earn them a merit badge. I have seen the same women feel extremely guilty when they realize they can’t stand the feeling of nursing anymore during a rough pregnancy, or when they need sleep more than they need to respond immediately to every peep from both their first and second born kid with a breast and a smile. I have seen women worry that weaning their 2 year old will mean ostracizing from their friend group, that they will be pariahs for admitting that they are done with nursing before their baby. On the other hand, I have seen women force their baby to the breast, because they aren’t ready for their toddler to wean yet.
It is great to nurse babies until they are done, don’t get me wrong. However, there might be reasons that a mom wants to wean before the baby is absolutely done. This is okay. There might also come a time when the baby is done, and the mother isn’t. Breastfeeding is a relationship, one that involves two people. To ignore the feelings of one of the people in that relationship can be a major mistake.
I am here to say, it is okay to wean. It is okay if that happens before you wanted it to. It is okay to set goals, but it is also okay when those goals change. Over the next couple of weeks, I will explore this taboo topic, and how to wean in a way that is gentle, safe, and loving to both parties in the relationship.