I am not sure when we got the idea that all good mothers love breastfeeding. Today, there seems to be a cult of motherhood. New mothers are expected to sit around the house contented to look like a painting from the Renaissance complete with tranquil smile, perfect cherubic baby latched to the breast and halo atop both of their heads. As any real life mother can attest, this is almost never the case. The baby won’t latch, your nipples hurt, your c-section incision aches, or it hurts to sit down for too long because of your birth. The baby seems to be so wiggly you need at least six more hands and a dozen more pillows, and HOW THE HELL DOES THIS PUMP WORK?!! You miss your old life, your old self, your old body. You are wracked with feelings of fear, love, guilt, anger, frustration, and pride, sometimes all at the same moment. New parenthood is hard work, and it isn’t ever perfect.
And here is my point. It is okay to hate breastfeeding. You can still be an amazing mom and give your baby the best food for their body and totally despise the act of breastfeeding. Lots of women (I suspect) feel this way, but no one talks about it. We are trying so hard to look like a painting that we don’t talk about how we are actually feeling because we are worried about being judged. I have three kids, and I really hate certain things about parenting. Playing tea party with my daughter is akin to shoving bamboo shoots under my nails, only less exciting. Changing my two year old’s poopy pants is not my idea of a great afternoon. Listening to my seven year old describe the structure he created on Minecraft makes me want to scream (to the tune of Minecraft that is constantly stuck in my head!!!!). I do these things any way, because they are ways I can show my kids that they are important, loved beings. It is part of my job as mom.
To me, breastfeeding is just a way of getting premium food and comfort to a baby. It was the way parenthood was designed to go. It is part of the job, not a magical act that will transport you to a place of blissed out tranquility immediately. It is okay if you hate it, you will hate a lot of things about parenthood. However, it is important that you do it anyway because your baby needs you and your baby needs your milk to grow normally and healthfully. Mama milk is important! As fundamental to your baby as a clean diaper, a warm bed, or your love.
Push through mamas, it won’t always be fun, but I promise you, it will always be worth it.