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The Lip Tie that Binds

The below story was written by one of my warrior mamas, and reposted with permission.Below you will find her story regarding upper lip tie.

Our upper lip tie story:

The first two weeks without the shield left my nipples cracked, bleeding and in agony. That first night feeding I remember doing it every 30 minutes. In the hospital, I asked the nurse for help, it was a weekend and the lactation consultant wasn’t available. The several nurses I had weren’t very helpful. For two and a half months we used a nipple shield because nursing without it was just too painful.

Nursing with the shield worked for a while. I still would feed every hour for the whole two months. We’d have good days and bad. Baby had awful acid reflux and gas. I thought it was the dairy so I cut it out. Turns out it could have been due to the lip tie. I’ve been off dairy for months and I’m not about to rule it out and start it back up though. I wondered if baby was colicky and after several attempts at bottle feeding with no luck, I was forced to quit my job. Nursing was the only thing that would soothe him. Acid reflux got a little better, but never fully went away.

As baby began to grow, his suck power increased. At 2 months old, the nipple shield started to hurt, pulling my skin through the holes with his incredible sucking strength. Over the next two weeks I started trying to feed with out the shield as often as I could. I began researching lip ties and found his. When feeding without the shield would hurt too much, I would switch back for a day or so to heal. Then I would try again.

That brings us to this 10 week mark. Baby has been really fussy nursing, getting worse every day. I made an appointment with our Lactation Consultant. She came by next day on Tuesday and saw all of my struggles. Baby was refusing to nurse and acting like he was in pain when he latched. She agreed with me on the lip tie and also felt that this was the problem. The relief of her support was emotionally overwhelming. Finally, someone listening to me! She checked his milk transfer by weighing him before and after a feeding and it was really low. This is why I’m having to feed so often. Baby isn’t getting fully satisfied and isn’t taking good naps during the day because of this. She said that if I hadn’t been so persistent in feeding when baby demanded, he would have had poor weight gain and I would have probably had mastitis, clogged ducts and a damaged milk supply.

Here is a picture of his class IV upper lip tie.
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We had a frenectomy done two days ago to release it. Immediately after the quick, easy procedure, I was able to nurse him for the first time pain free!

Several people tried to help (bless them) with advice on letting baby cry it out, but I absolutely refused to do this. I followed my new mom instincts and consoled my baby with nursing 24/7. Feedings use to take half hour to an hour, then he’d be hungry again in half hour to an hour. Now they take 15 minutes, with a satisfied baby at the end! We’ve even been able to go 2-3 hours without a feeding!

The pediatrician said, “In 15 years I have never seen a case where upper lip ties effect breastfeeding.” And maybe usually it doesn’t, but in my case it did.

I followed my instincts, did my research and found a huge lacking in the diagnoses of upper lip ties relating to breastfeeding issues.

Pretty much feeling like a super hero mom now and so glad I was so head strong on sticking to breastfeeding. If I hadn’t worked so hard and if I hadn’t found the solution, I don’t know what I would have done. There needs to be more support for this in the pediatrician and pediatric dental world. I have come across many many many stories similar to mine! I can only imagine the amount of women who don’t even know they have this same issue, feeling defeated, they switch to formula when they don’t really want to.

Thank you Rebecca for sharing with us your story! Click here for more information on lip tie symptoms and solutions.

 

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I Hate Breastfeeding

I am not sure when we got the idea that all good mothers love breastfeeding. Today, there seems to be a cult of motherhood. New mothers are expected to sit around the house contented to look like a painting from the Renaissance complete with tranquil smile, perfect cherubic baby latched to the breast and halo atop both of their heads. As any real life mother can attest, this is almost never the case. The baby won’t latch, your nipples hurt, your c-section incision aches, or it hurts to sit down for too long because of your birth. The baby seems to be so wiggly you need at least six more hands and a dozen more pillows, and HOW THE HELL DOES THIS PUMP WORK?!! You miss your old life, your old self, your old body. You are wracked with feelings of fear, love, guilt, anger, frustration, and pride, sometimes all at the same moment. New parenthood is hard work, and it isn’t ever perfect.

And here is my point. It is okay to hate breastfeeding. You can still be an amazing mom and give your baby the best food for their body and totally despise the act of breastfeeding. Lots of women (I suspect) feel this way, but no one talks about it. We are trying so hard to look like a painting that we don’t talk about how we are actually feeling because we are worried about being judged. I have three kids, and I really hate certain things about parenting. Playing tea party with my daughter is akin to shoving bamboo shoots under my nails, only less exciting. Changing my two year old’s poopy pants is not my idea of a great afternoon. Listening to my seven year old describe the structure he created on Minecraft makes me want to scream (to the tune of Minecraft that is constantly stuck in my head!!!!). I do these things any way, because they are ways I can show my kids that they are important, loved beings. It is part of my job as mom.

To me, breastfeeding is just a way of getting premium food and comfort to a baby. It was the way parenthood was designed to go. It is part of the job, not a magical act that will transport you to a place of blissed out tranquility immediately. It is okay if you hate it, you will hate a lot of things about parenthood. However, it is important that you do it anyway because your baby needs you and your baby needs your milk to grow normally and healthfully. Mama milk is important! As fundamental to your baby as a clean diaper, a warm bed, or your love.

Push through mamas, it won’t always be fun, but I promise you, it will always be worth it.

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The Price is Right

babyhospitalIf you broke your foot, you would get an x-ray. If your tooth hurt, you would see a dentist. If you had a heart attack, you would see a cardiologist. Most likely, you wouldn’t even balk at their fee. Why? It’s because we know that good, quality help from educated, caring, medical professionals is worth every penny. Why then do we gasp when we hear the price that comes with “natural” healthcare?

Lactation consultants, are often times accused of charging exorbitant amounts for their services. I have been told to accept all offers, to provide a sliding scale, to barter, and to offer my services for free for a time. When was the last time you bargained with your doctor? One large problem is that insurance will gladly cover your echo-cardiogram, but they may not even know what a lactation consultant is. The undervaluing the services of these people by the healthcare mainstream doesn’t do people any favors. Some insurances may technically cover IBCLCs but their “preferred providers” might be not easily accessible.

When you hire a private practice International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC) you get someone with years of lactation focused experience and education. Someone who, most likely, is available to you day or night, through texts, phone calls, emails, and home visits. They will sit with you, help you, and make you feel sane and in control again. They feel as passionate about breastfeeding as you do, and they are there to facilitate your goals. We are required to continue learning all the time, combing through research papers, attending conferences, and networking with other IBCLCs to make sure that you get the latest and greatest breastfeeding knowledge available. Not too shabby for $100/consult, even if your insurance carrier disagrees.

Consider for a moment all the other things that we happily spend on babies. How much is your baby’s crib? Their highchair? Their stroller? Now how much would you pay to insure that your baby has the best food available to them? If an IBCLC can help you breastfeed successfully, think of all the money you will save by avoiding bottles, formula, and having a statistically healthier child.

Having a support team doesn’t make you weak, it makes you strong. And a strong mother and baby seems well worth every penny to me.

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Howdy, Partners!

Over the past couple of days, it has come to my attention that one of the single most predictive elements of a successful breastfeeding relationship is not being addressed. So, let me address it. Hey there partners of breastfeeding moms out there! Hi there dads and other mamas! Did you know that your support of breastfeeding is imperative to your lactating life partner? I know there are some amazing men and women out there who support and guide and help and comfort and parent. These are not the partners that I am speaking to today. Today I am filled with a righteous anger towards those men and women who are not supportive of their partner breastfeeding their babies.

I have had two women contact me in the past two days regarding this phenomenon. These women are being teased, verbally abused, abandoned, and ridiculed for their decision to breastfeed past the first couple of months of life. By. Their. Partners. Not okay. The saddest part I find, is that the questions I am getting is not, “do you have recommendations for a good marriage counselor?” or “why do you think my husband is acting like such a child?” No, they are asking me this, “How to I wean, so my partner will stop making fun of me and help me parent?” and “Is this my fault? Have I ruined my child and my marriage by deciding to breastfeed? Let me just say that no, this is not your fault. Well, maybe you could have picked a better partner, but other than that, no, breastfeeding didn’t ruin your child or marriage.

Parents, regardless of how you feed your child, you deserve the following:

    • Support
    • Food
    • Exercise
    • Love
    • Safety
    • Occasionally sleeping in
    • Help

Partners, regardless of how you feed your child, good parenting/partnership consists of the following

  • Supporting your partner
  • Bonding with your child
  • Loving them both unconditionally
  • Supporting them both unconditionally
  • Occasionally passing up the opportunity to tell someone “I told you so”
  • Helping
  • Listening

In other words, stop being a jerk about how your kid is fed, love your kid and support the person you had them with. I don’t think this is rocket science, but sadly, many people have not yet gotten this message. Parenting is hard, don’t make it harder by acting like a spoiled brat.

daddybaby

 

 

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Isn’t This Supposed to be Natural??

latchWhen I excitedly tell someone that I passed the test to become a Certified Lactation Consultant after nearly 6 years of study and being in the field, I usually get this response: You need a certification for that? Isn’t breastfeeding supposed to be natural? Of course, I get variations on this sentiment too. “Um, isn’t it like, open mouth, insert boob?” or “I had no idea that was even a thing.” This used to really frustrate and insult me, but I sort of understand where they are coming from. Media (mostly commercials for things like diaper rash cream), art, and every breastfeeding propaganda flyer I have ever seen depicts breastfeeding as some sort of magical happening that is perfect every time. I can almost hear angels singing in the background of many of these ad campaigns. Their intention was pure, to make breastfeeding look desirable, you probably don’t want to depict an exhausted mother and a screaming baby surrounded by used burp rags.  Here is the catch, yes, breastfeeding is natural, but natural does not equal easy.

Let’s use a metaphor! Eating is natural, but cooking is a learned behavior. Many women have never seen another woman breastfeed. When formula took over as the prefered feeding method, in the 1940s and 50s, essentially an entire generation was skipped on learning how to breastfeed from their mothers, aunts, sisters and friends. With help from groups like La Leche League, and those same ad campaigns, the art of breastfeeding is coming back, but in general, the public knowledge base is still lacking. If you have never seen anyone cook, and all you have ever known from TV, family, and friends is take-out food, how would you know how to cook? That is where IBCLCs come in.

After having helped hundreds of breastfeeding pairs learn how to breastfeed, it is my belief that there is certainly a need for this kind of professional in every pediatrician office, OB/GYN practice and most certainly every hospital. I want to see every mother to take three hours away from pinning nursery designs and finding nerdy onesies on Pinterest and use that three hours to take a comprehensive breastfeeding class. I want those mothers who struggle at the beginning not to feel defeated and inept because they are having trouble getting the hang of it. I want partners to understand how important breastfeeding is to the physical and mental health of babies AND their mothers. I want them to value this bond as much as their lactating counter-point does. I want to educate and teach myself out of a job.

Now let’s get cooking!